Life With Michael
by Hunger4Righteousness
Summary: Follows 'What Happened Next' and 'Epilogue'. A collection of stories of various lengths about Michael's childhood, starting with his first brush with danger and anecdotes about him and his parents.
1. Beginnings

**Yeah... I'm supposed to be working on something else. Then I got distracted. Which really means I got writer's block and let myself do something else to pretend I don't have writer's block. I'm not really sure I like how this initial story worked out, but I went back over it so many times, I couldn't let it sit and rot. :P Lob your rotten tomatoes gently please. Hopefully you'll like the subsequent stories I have to post about his childhood better. They certainly are more amusing and less dramatic. :) Any questions? Read 'What Happened Next' first, then "Epilogue to What Happened Next', then if you're still confused - ask me!**

Now he was really upset, the tone of his voice rising to a painful pitch. With one eye closed, Megamind grimaced as the tiny lungs bellowed over his shoulder into his sensitive ear while he attempted to reason with his little son.

"Listen, Michael, I know first hand what your mother has on offer is infinitely more attractive than this," he looked at the bottle, "but unfortunately it's what we have to work with right now. You're six weeks old, and it's time to start being reasonable. How bad could it be?" He repositioned the baby in his arms in order to try feeding him, but the little boy refused again. After a thoughtful pause and a slight shrug, Megamind took the barest taste of the milk himself. "BLEH!"

Michael wailed even louder hearing his father's reaction. "What are these formula companies trying to do, torture little children? Ugh." He set the bottle down and tried bouncing the upset infant gently to soothe him. He looked up at the monitors scanning the city park, searching for a glimpse of Roxanne. "Where aaare yoooou…?" he quietly sang, bouncing on his feet, while Michael hollered.

* * *

"If I'm going to get back in front of the camera, I have _got_ to get back in shape!" she said, tying her running shoes and straightening up.

He waggled his eyebrows at her with a mischievous grin, "Your shape looks to good to me."

Tilting her head, she gave a him a look but kissed his cheek. As she tucked her cell phone into its case at her waist, she said, "You would say that. But the camera doesn't lie. Well, maybe it does, but not the good kind of lying. It always adds ten pounds." Bending to lift little Michael from his seat, she smiled as his tiny fist gripped her finger. She breathed in his sweet baby smell and planted a kiss on his forehead.

"Are you sure you're not overdoing it?" Megamind asked with mild concern. "It's only been six weeks." All the usual sources of information claimed this was the point at which a new mother could return to gentle exercise, but he tended to brood a little over his wife and child. Maybe more than a little.

"I promise I won't be gone long. Dr. Sherred gave me the green light to ease back into my usual routine. I'm just going to go to the park, get in a good brisk walk, maybe add a little jogging if I'm feeling really strong." Before the pregnancy, she'd maintained a regular program of exercise a couple times a week, and although she knew she'd never be an avid runner, the jogging did help keep the extra pounds off, a must for her career.

"When was the last time he ate?" Megamind asked as she turned the baby around and passed him over to his father's outstretched hands. Michael's mouth and eyes opened wide in delight at seeing the blue face so like his own, and Roxanne grinned as Megamind unconsciously mimicked the baby's expression briefly and then smiled down at his son.

"Hmm, less than an hour ago. He should be good for a while. Watch out for the diaper though."

"Ech…" She had adamantly refused to allow him to program one of the brainbots for diaper duty. Surprisingly, Minion also refused to take on the onerous task except in the most necessary of circumstances, claiming he did not want his mechanical hands to pinch or hurt the baby. Megamind sourly suspected he simply didn't want to deal with the 'surprises' Michael produced several times a day. He frowned and shook a finger gently at his son, pretending to warn him not to mess, but then he chuckled as the baby boy grabbed his finger and stuck out his tongue.

"Ok, you'll be fine." She smiled at them both and kissed her husband, who watched her leave. He wasn't worried. There were many times when Roxanne left Michael in his keeping and although at first he'd been nervous taking care of his son by himself, he soon became quite confident.

"So. What shall we do for an hour? Chemistry?" Michael blew a spit bubble and stretched. "Hmm, maybe not. How about fractal geometry and theoretical math! Always exciting! Or possibly astronomy?" The baby yawned. "Maybe just a story."

As yet, baby Michael had shown no signs of being anything more than a normal infant, besides the fact that he looked much like his father. Most obviously they shared the same complexion and large cranial measurement, always off the chart at his check-ups. Roxanne's influence was most notable in his blue eyes and the shape of his mouth. Hair was still questionable, the baby fuzz present at birth having mostly faded away in the first few weeks. His appetite was excellent, and his mother's ample milk supply had grown his baby cheeks into a pair of irresistibly plump kissing targets. He was a happy and content baby who observed everything around him very intently, but that was all. Megamind refused to think much about it and Roxanne said nothing aloud, although they both had silently wondered what the future might hold and time reveal about their offspring's intelligence.

* * *

It had been two hours since Roxanne left for the park. She hadn't answered her phone when he called, and he didn't see her on the monitors. Although he didn't want to overreact, he was now distinctly worried. Michael had been crying for nearly half an hour. Megamind wasn't sure if he was too distracted trying to placate his son or simply was too disturbed by the constant wailing to sense her through the link, but soon he decided he simply must go find her. Minion tried to take Michael, but as soon he did, the baby became even more upset.

"Did you check his diaper?" Minion questioned, handing him back quickly.

"Of course I did! It's fine."

"And he's not hungry? Or need to be burped? Maybe it's gas."

Rolling his eyes, Megamind answered, "He refused the bottle, and I can hardly blame him, but Roxanne said he'd been fed not long before she left." Before Minion could speak up again, he quickly added, "He had a nap too, so I don't think he's tired." He frowned. "I don't know what's wrong. And I have got to go find Roxanne."

Minion mused aloud, "What we need is some womanly intuition."

Megamind snapped his fingers. "Yes!" Grabbing his cell phone, he dialed a familiar number. "Wayne! Is Gillian there with you? Good, would you mind bringing her here? We're in need of some help." Minion smiled and nodded. She was just the person for the job.

Having heard the sounds of the baby's distress over the line, they arrived within a shorter amount of time than was humanly possible. Gillian and Wayne stood looking down at a very unhappy Michael squirming in his father's arms as Megamind explained what was going on. "What's wrong, little guy?" Gillian asked, tickling a chubby blue cheek.

Megamind looked at Wayne. "Roxanne's been gone for over two hours. She should have been back by now."

"We'll take care of Mic. I'm sure Gillian can do something for him." Wayne knew he was worried when his blue buddy didn't bother to correct him for using his favorite nickname for the baby.

"I appreciate it." He handed Michael over to Gillian, feeling sure she would be able to handle him. She and the little boy had a good rapport. Checking his sidearm, he hurried to the hoverbike. The three babysitters watched him go.

Gillian asked, "Does Michael have a binky?" Wayne and Minion looked at each other.

* * *

Roxanne sat where her captor had led her, mostly hidden under a large bush that formed part of a hedge in a remote corner of the park. Her tailbone ached from contact with the hard ground, and she was getting hungry despite the tension. Standing over her was a tubby man in a jogging suit, training a gun on her. Harold Ficket couldn't believe his luck. He'd gone to the park, intending to engage in a little voyerism on this sunny day when so many young women could be counted on to go out jogging, and he suddenly spotted none other than Roxanne Ritchie. Returning to his car, he took his hand gun from the glove compartment and stealthily followed her until she reached a secluded path. Positioning himself and making sure no one else was around, he intercepted her smoothly, stepping out with the pistol pointed at her chest. She never bothered to cry out or try to escape or anything. Must have gotten used to this kind of thing when she was Megamind's victim instead of his wife, he figured.

"What did make you marry him?"

"Love. Same as most people who get married," she answered blandly, picking at the grass and not bothering to look up. She refused to give him the satisfaction of seeing her fear. Thinking briefly of Michael, she hoped Megamind would come soon.

He snorted. "You really claim to love him? He's so… _alien_." Harold's face sneered in contempt at the thought of Megamind, blue and bald and different. How could a woman be attracted to him, especially one like Roxanne. She could have had Metro Man instead. It made no sense to Harold.

"There's a lot more to love than how someone looks." Roxanne finally squinted up at the round, sweaty man, his head framed against the brightness of the sky. "You used to go to school with Megamind, right?"

"Yeah, that's right."

"Did you ever talk to him? Try to get to know him?"

Harold snorted again. "No way. None of us liked him. We all knew he was going to be trouble right from the start including our teacher."

Roxanne tried to control an outburst. The stories she'd heard about Megamind's school days, especially the teacher's attitude toward him, alternately made her want to weep and made her blood boil. However, she reminded herself that she'd once judged him too. If Harold had been intelligent enough to attend a gifted school and assuming he was a rational adult, maybe she could turn his thinking around as well. "How? How could you possibly 'know' that?"

Harold rolled his eyes. "Come off it. What would you have thought of having a blue weirdo with a giant head in your school? It was obvious he didn't belong. He didn't even bother to talk half the time, just watched us all. But I suppose you're going to tell me you would have made friends with him. We all knew he wasn't right." He tapped his forehead.

"He grew up in prison, and he didn't know what other children were like. That's probably why he spent most of his time watching you." She added, "As far as how he looks... Where he comes from, he's perfectly normal. If I put you on his planet, how would you want them to treat you?"

Harold frowned. That was a stupid question. He'd read the articles. Megamind's planet probably didn't even exist anymore. And even if it did, he would never be caught dead there surrounded by a bunch of… blue people. Something got through to him as, unwillingly, an inkling of what it would be like if he was the only person of his kind among others briefly caused him to doubt his assumptions. He waved the gun a little.

"Ok, well, you know what? We're not on his planet. This is _our_ planet. And right now we're just going to keep waiting _quietly_ until he shows up. What's taking him so long anyway?" He glanced around nervously.

Roxanne refused to speculate with Harold about that. She knew the baby was probably the reason he hadn't come looking for her yet, and she prayed he would not bring Michael along when he finally did seek her out.

"So you weren't charged after the tar incident, huh?"

"Public nuisance. No big deal." He smirked. It had been worth the chance to smear the little freak. "Didn't even have to serve time."

"Harold, why are you still so angry at him?"

He looked down and scowled at the pretty reporter in her t-shirt and leggings. Did she really not understand? "Did you see the fight? He ruined me. Ruined my life. My manhood!" Roxanne winced. Did he really just use the word 'manhood'? "And then after what he did to me in school, he humiliated me in public again."

"Well, it's not like he attacked you first. You called him out!" She refrained from adding the fact that he'd nearly caused Megamind to miss their first child's birth as well.

The muscles in Harold's sagging jowls tightened and his nostrils flared as he breathed in. Roxanne realized she should not be arguing with a man who was holding a gun on her, no matter how unreasonable his gripes against her husband were. "He's a freak, he's never been properly punished for all the crap he's done to this city, and he shouldn't be allowed to live here anymore. But now – NOW – _he's_ the hero? It's so wrong I can't even begin to explain."

Roxanne tried to shift her weight as she looked around again. "He saved my life, you know."

Harold paused thoughtfully and squatted down to look into her face. "And he got what he wanted out of that too, didn't he? Don't you see it? That whole Tighten thing? I think it turned out exactly the way he wanted. He got to 'save' the city and he got you and now he gets to go around pretending to be a hero. He's smart, no doubt about it." He frowned as she glanced away from him and then arranged herself a little more attractively and looked in his eyes.

"You must be pretty smart too, Harold. Attended a gifted school, designed your own weapon. You nearly had him," she soothed.

He smiled. "You're a good-looking woman, Roxanne. I can't believe you'd choose _him _when you could have had somebody like Metro Man. What was it? You felt sorry for him? Think you owed it to him? Or maybe you're into guys that are a little… different, huh?" He looked her up and down speculatively. "You know, I'm a little different too..."

Roxanne's response would not have been what Harold wanted to hear, but now he couldn't hear her anyway. Standing up she couldn't resist giving a small kick to the blue cube shimmering at her feet, sending it tumbling into Megamind's path as he walked around the corner of the hedge where he'd been concealed. "Are you ok?"

"Yes," she answered, looking down as he picked up the dehydrated Harold and tucked him into a pocket.

"You saw me, I take it."

"Right at the last. I was going to distract him for you, but he pretty much took care of that himself. Creep."

He hugged her and admitted, "It was difficult to resist changing the setting to destroy, but I was afraid the resulting explosion might make a stink. That what happens when you blow up a sack of -"

"Now, now," she gently scolded. "We've heard as bad or worse. Don't let him get to you. He's not worth it." Putting a hand to her backside, she tried to rub the ache away. "It seemed like I was sitting there forever."

"Sorry, my love. Would you like me to massage that for you?" he asked with a cheeky smirk.

She chuckled. "It's a public park, you know."

"This is a pretty remote spot. It doesn't even show up on the monitors in the lair," he promised, kissing her cheek and pulling her closer. One hand moved toward the muscles she'd complained about. Six weeks was about the right time for other activities to be resumed as well.

Roxanne smiled and granted her hero a lingering kiss. Rescues were always a turn on. Whether it was the sudden release of the tension after danger was averted or renewing their appreciation for each other, they could nearly always count on a romantic interlude following such an incident. And it had been a while since a rescue was called for. Plus, it had just been a while. She thought of the six week rule too, and kissed him again, reaching up to tease one of his ears as well, a sure sign of good things to come. "Doesn't even show up on the cameras, huh?"

"Nope, and the park's pretty empty." He'd searched most of it before finally finding them. "No one around to hear…" his face fell, "Oh, Michael!" The thought of the unhappy infant broke the atmosphere around them like a dousing with cold water.

"What's wrong with him?" Roxanne demanded, alarmed at Megamind's sudden change of mood.

"Let's go," he said, taking her hand and running with her toward the hoverbike hidden behind another row of bushes on the other side of an open lawn. "I'll explain on the way."

* * *

Megamind expected to hear the unsettling sound of wailing as they walked in. He hated to think of the poor baby screaming for so long, but he didn't really think Gillian would have been able to placate him completely. However, everything was quiet. Roxanne looked at him, and they quickly ascended to the living areas of the lair. There they found Minion just setting down a tray of cookies and coffee, Wayne on the couch texting someone, and Gillian playing with Michael who had a familiar object firmly planted in his mouth.

"My -! Where did you find that!" Megamind demanded upon recognizing the bright blue binky in his son's mouth.

Minion explained. "I put it away in a safe place a long time ago. When Gillian got here, she asked if he had one, and I remembered where it was. As soon as we gave it to him, he was happy!"

Roxanne had taken the baby and gently removed the glowing binky from his mouth. He smiled at her and waved his arms. "Wow! That's a big smile! Yes, mama's back kiddo, thanks to your daddy."

" – da –"

Every eye in the room turned to Michael when he made his breathy pronouncement. "Whoa. That sounded like he was trying to say 'dad'." Wayne commented. "Isn't it kind of early for him to be talking?"

"At six weeks? Yeah, way too early. That was probably just a coincidence," Roxanne assured him. She turned to Megamind with the baby to ask him about the binky and they heard again, " –da- "

"Okay," said Gillian, "another coincidence? Let's remember whose baby this is!"

"He hasn't shown any special inclinations to early development up to now," Roxanne told them. She frowned. That _had_ sounded like a deliberate attempt to say dada. Holding up the binky, she asked her husband, "Has this got anything to do with it?"

"Well… possibly."

"What is that thing?" Wayne asked.

"It's my old binky, of course." Megamind felt a bit embarrassed by having to explain the strange object to his friends and family. "That's what they sent with me, beside Minion, when I left for earth."

"I know it's a binky, Megs. But it's not like any other binky I've seen. What's it made of?" He reached out and took the object from Roxanne, peering at it closely. As it passed over Michael, the baby reached toward it happily. When it wasn't given to him, his mouth puckered up and he whimpered. Gillian took the glowing blue pacifier from Wayne's fingers and gently replaced it in Michael's open mouth. He gurgled around it.

"Um, I don't know."

Now it was Megamind's turn to be stared at by the group. Admitting he didn't know what something was made of was unprecedented. He looked back at them all and shrugged. "What? You heard Minion. He put it away. I'd forgotten about it. Even though I used to rely on it as a child quite often, I never thought very much about it in an analytical sense. I mean, would you think about what your favorite teddy bear is made of – stuffing and fabric and stitching?"

"No, he just snuggles up with it," Gillian answered. Wayne blushed and Roxanne stifled a giggle. Well, well, she thought. That's revealing in so many ways! Wayne's got a teddy bear, and Gillian has been around enough to actually know that he sleeps with it! She smiled at them both, noticing Wayne avoided meeting her eyes.

"Ah HA!" Megamind began, ready to seize the opportunity to hassle his old friend, when he caught his wife's look. He cleared his throat. "Well, I suspect it's some form of energy. It was my only nourishment for the journey, and later I used it to power several childhood inventions. I never thought much about why it worked. It was always there, and I just automatically used it as a source of energy." He looked at Minion who shrugged as well. It was true. As children they had never questioned the power of the binky, just put it to good use. Megamind leaned closer to Michael, squinting at the object of interest without trying to take it from him. The baby stared at his father wide-eyed, and the circular object dropped from his lips when he opened his mouth once again to say, " – dada -" Megamind beamed.

"Ok, that was no coincidence," Minion stated. "That was clear as a bell!" Leaned toward the baby, he coaxed, "Say 'Minion'! Come on, Michael. Miiiiniooon!"

" – nin –"

Wayne guffawed and Gillian gasped. "Six weeks old!"

"Maybe he's needed it this whole time," Roxanne wondered aloud, looking down at the baby who was staring back at her and practicing ma's. "If it was important enough that your parents sent it with you, could it be something essential to the part of him that's like you?"

Megamind raised his eyebrows and admitted, "I simply don't know. I could examine it, test it, even take it apart if you want to know how it works and what it really is," he tried to take the blue binky from his son, who began to protest, "or we can just let him have it."

"Well, it certainly doesn't seem to be hurting him, so let's just leave a good thing be for now. Maybe when he has a nap, you can take a closer look," Roxanne decided and handed her son to his father so she could pick up some coffee and cookies. She was hungry after the exercise and excitement at the park. She sighed. Not that cookies would help her goal, but she decided to allow herself one or two as a reward for surviving Harold's bungled plan.

Wayne asked, "So what happened to you, Roxie? Megs here was getting all worked up about you being gone too long."

"Oh. Yeah, sorry about that. But thank you for helping out, especially you, Gillian. I had a run in with B – uh, Harold again. You remember, the guy with the tar gun?" She'd nearly called him by his self-styled villain moniker of Big Balls. As she explained, Megamind remembered they'd left the park without turning Harold in to the police first. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the cube, holding it up in two fingers above Michael who grabbed at the glimmering shape. It was tempting to let the baby slobber on it, but he didn't want the repulsive man rehydrated yet.

"He must have spotted me in the park and come up with a spur of the moment plan." She smiled at her husband and tickled the baby on the cheek before sipping her coffee. "He wasn't very well prepared, was he?"

"Oh no, only holding a gun to your head!"

"Well, you took him out without any fuss or struggle. I thought it went about as smoothly as any rescue we've had yet." She shrugged.

"Mommy doesn't take these things seriously enough," he told his son, shaking the cube over him. Suddenly one of Michael's flailing arms knocked the small blue block from his fingers and into Roxanne's coffee cup. Fishing it out frantically, she quickly dropped it again as with a flash Harold stood before them all. He looked somewhat stunned but took in the scene and rallied with amazing speed. He pointed the gun in his hand at Megamind.

"Opps! Guess you made a mistake." He noticed the blue baby. "Don't tell me… This is the little alien bastard I read about in the paper? I thought for sure you were making it up! Who would've believed you could actually become a father." He shook his head, staring at Michael. "Sick."

Megamind would have been livid except that every part of him was focused on getting his son out of the line of fire. He would throw him aside if he had to, to avoid the shot. He was about to beg Harold to let him give the baby to Roxanne when the sneering man pulled the trigger. The retort reverberated in the room. Minion lunged too late. Gillian screamed, and Roxanne's strangled cry hung in the air. Jolted, Megamind looked down, expecting the worst, but in front of his chest a large hand had appeared like magic. Harold's eyes grew wide and wider as they followed the fist up the length of a well-muscled arm and past the massive shoulder to Wayne's stony face.

"That's my godson." Wayne informed him, his voice quietly menacing, and opened his hand to drop the now powdered bullet to the floor. Harold's mouth dropped open and he began babbling incoherently as Wayne grabbed the front of his jogging suit in one hand, lifting him off the floor. Removing the gun from him, he crushed it.

"But you're dead! He killed you!"

"How'd you ever get into a gifted school, Harold?" Wayne asked. "Obviously, I can't be dead if I'm about to pulverize you right now."

"Wayne, wait." Roxanne thought quickly. This all went back to those school days long ago. The whole situation had begun with the prejudice that had been nurtured in the class, purposefully by the teacher or unwittingly by Wayne himself. If they ever wanted this to end, they had to at least try to show Harold how wrong he was, and he had been one of Wayne's followers Megamind had told her. "Tell him about helping us now. Tell him you don't hate Megamind."

Wayne looked at her. "Hate him? I never hated him. It was all a game to me. Ok, it was a stupid game." He set Harold on the floor again but retained an iron-fisted grip on him. "I wanted to play hero. When Megs showed up at school, he just became the odd man out I could pick on to make myself look good since that silly teacher didn't like him anyway. And things got out of control. It was a huge mistake. I was selfish, really selfish, nearly ruining someone else's life to make mine into what I wanted it to be. But I'll tell you what. Look at him now." He forcibly turned the gaping man by his shoulders toward Megamind and Michael. "He made it through all my mistakes and forgave me even. He is a real hero, and what's more, he's my friend." Looking Harold in the face again, he told him, "And his family is my family. So if you mess with them, you mess with me."

"I – I – I…"

"Yeah, we know. You had no idea, right? Well, Harold, you should have at least had the brains to realize some basic truths - holding grudges is dangerous and prejudice is always wrong," he declared, slipping back into his old heroic role. "I'm going to take you to jail now, because you need some time to think about what I just told you. But since I'm the one that made this mess, I promise I'll be back to discuss it with you again before you leave."

With a nod to Gillian and a promise to be right back, he grabbed the stunned man up and whisked him away. The room was suddenly quiet. It had all happened so fast. Minion let out a sigh and began to wipe up the spilled coffee. Michael resumed sucking the binky, unaware of the first attempt having been made on his life. Roxanne and Megamind looked at each other silently for several moments.

"Well. That's a new one on me," Megamind commented weakly. "I believe Metro Man just saved my life." He looked down. "And yours."

"Thank God." Roxanne's voice was shaky, and she put her arms around him and the baby both. Little Michael remained undisturbed, the binky gently rocking in time to his sucking as he looked from one face to the other.

Gillian sat heavily on the couch. Minion considerately offered her a cup of coffee, which she reached out and took without really thinking. She asked in a small voice, "Do you guys always live like this?"

The threesome glanced at each other before laughing and assuring her things were not always so exciting. "You get used to it," Roxanne offered, realizing Gillian's coping ability was not quite as developed and as quick as her own yet. She asked Minion to get a blanket and when he brought it she dropped it over Gillian's shoulders with a smile. "It's really not so bad," she said.

Gillian's answering smile, though fragile, was promising. If Roxanne could get used to such things, she figured she could too over time. Wayne arrived back just then and looked at his girlfriend with her blanket and coffee. Sitting on the couch and putting an arm around her, he quietly asked if she was all right.

"Yeah. I will be. Just takes some getting used to." She sipped her coffee and looked at him over the rim of the cup. Wayne smiled back in relief, knowing he'd found someone special.

"Ah, I think there's been a package delivered." Megamind held Michael out at arms' length, wrinkling his nose.

Roxanne laughed. "Ok, I'll take this one. Never will I complain about having to change another diaper after today."

It had been the first close call with Michael. Megamind pulled the baby back toward himself. "You're right. I'll do it."

"No, give him here. I'll do it."

"No. It's my turn. You changed him before you left." He began to walk away with Roxanne following just behind, still arguing.

"Hand him over!"

"I'll change him and then you can feed him."

"Only if we can get that binky away from him…"

Minion smiled, watching them go. Gillian looked at him and at Wayne, a fish and an indestructible man, and grinned to herself as she sipped at her coffee. Life was looking pretty interesting.


	2. Hair Today  Gone Tomorrow

_(Four years old...)_

"But you have lovely hair!"

The little boy scowled in a startling caricature of his father, which only made him look even more comical with half of his dark silvery hair missing and the other half sticking out from his scalp in bits and pieces. A school scissors lay open on the sink top in front of him along with the missing locks from his head. In the mirror his mother's eyes looked at him questioningly.

"I don't want 'lovely' hair, mom. I'm a boy!" He crossed his thin arms over his chest.

"Ok well, a lot of boys have hair, even if they don't call it lovely."

"Yeah," he agreed. "But dad doesn't."

Roxanne was surprised. Megamind had been pleased their son had inherited her hair. Being bald was something that had bothered him greatly as a child. He'd always envied the other children's natural tresses and wished he had hair too so he could look 'normal'.

"You mean, you'd rather be bald like daddy than have hair like other kids?"

"Yeah!" His eyes lit up. "So can we cut it off? Let's _shave_ it! Then I'll really look like dad!" She was suddenly relieved that he hadn't found her shaver and resolved to hide it in a more secure location.

"Whoa, whoa. I don't know if dad would want us to do that. He likes the way you look, Michael." At least, the way you used to look, she thought.

The scowl returned. "Well, I don't." He picked at a strand that remained on his head and stuck out his tongue. "When I put on my cape, I don't look anything like him _at all_!"

Roxanne tried not to laugh. She had seen her four year old son posing in front of the mirror in the small black cape Minion had made just for him. "Well, you and he are the only two blue people around that I know."

Michael conceded, "True, but not having hair would be even better."

She tried a different angle. "Don't you want to look like me, just a little? I'm your mom."

The four year old rolled his eyes in imitation of the man he adored. Exasperated at her apparent obtuseness, he informed her, "Mom! You're a _girl_. Plus you're a reporter, and I want to be a city defender when I grow up."

"Uncle Wayne used to be a city defender, and he has hair."

Michael blinked. He hadn't thought of that. "Yeah… but he's not blue, and he doesn't have cool stuff. I'm going to be a defender like dad." Satisfied with his reasoning, he folded his arms again and regarded his mother's reflection in the mirror defiantly.

"All right. When your father gets back, we'll ask him what he thinks." She picked up the scissors and began to clean up the trimmed hair scattered around. "And whatever he decides is what you'll have to agree to do. Deal?"

Considering this, he finally nodded.

Later, she had to retrieve her shaver from it's new hiding place and brought out the camera too to record the momentous occasion when Michael lost his hair.


	3. Whispers in the Dark

_(Five years old…)_

It had become a small but pleasantly anticipated part of their daily schedule, stopping whatever they were doing to have coffee together and give Michael a snack after school while they listened to him tell about his day. In the course of his prattling he nearly always imparted some fascinating or sometimes startling observations arising from his unique point of view. He was not an unpopular child, but being very obviously Megamind's offspring with most of his physical characteristics, he still had to deal with the harshly frank questions and comments other children naturally and usually innocently made. He had learned to stand up for himself early on, and occasionally there were minor moral dilemmas which popped up about which they helped guide him in the right direction. He always listened to and considered the advice they offered with intense concentration, his blue eyes wide and staring, although he didn't always choose to put the advice into practice.

One afternoon, after talking non-stop for nearly ten minutes during which he related yet another dramatic tale of his continuing quest to help a small, shy girl in his first grade class deal with two rough boys who teased her mercilessly, he finally fell silent as he stared with his characteristic far-away gaze and chewed his sandwich. Roxanne smiled as she watched her son and glanced at Megamind who nodded knowingly before raising his coffee cup to his mouth. That look was a sure sign that a probing question was about to follow.

"Mom, when you tell somebody a secret, you're supposed to whisper it in their ear, right?"

Slightly perplexed, since this question seemed to have nothing to do with the last topic of conversation, she affirmed that that was the usual means of conveying secrets.

Michael snorted with childish disdain and shook his head. "Well, somebody ought to tell Uncle Wayne that. He was whispering right in Gillian's mouth."

A fit of choking and coughing on Megamind's part took him by surprise, and he watched as his mother pounded him on the back until it subsided. Then with a startled glance at each other, they both turned to him.

"Um, Michael… when did you see Uncle Wayne whispering to Gillian like that?"

"Uh oh." He'd forgotten the illicit circumstances under which he'd made his covert observations, but now that he'd let the genie out of the bottle, he knew he wouldn't be able to stuff it back in again. "Well… I couldn't fall asleep."

"You mean you got out of bed after they'd already tucked you in," Roxanne restated for him.

"That's the last time we let them babysit him together," Megamind muttered.

"It's not their fault. Although we may want to, uh, put a bug in their ears about this."

Michael was about to ask if putting bugs in their ears would help Uncle Wayne and Gillian hear each other better, but his mother was already continuing. "Michael, there are some secrets that are meant to be told into another person's mouth. But only in private, when no one else is around."

"What are they?"

Megamind spoke up. "You'll find out when you're older. _Much_ older."

"Yes, this is a matter that's only for adults. Just like you're not allowed to use Dad's blowtorch yet, you have to grow up a lot to know these very special secrets."

"Do you know them?" He'd never seen her use the blowtorch.

She felt a slight blush rise in her cheeks and heard Megamind chuckle. "Yes, I know them. I'm an adult. And so is your father." She looked at the little blue boy solemnly. "Now, next time… when Uncle Wayne and Gillian put you in bed, you stay there."

"What if there's a fire?"

"Yes, then you could get out of bed."

"What if I have to go to the bathroom?"

She sighed, knowing this line of questioning might never end as his brain considered every possible legitimate excuse for getting up. "I'm not playing that game, Michael. You're a very intelligent boy, and I'm sure you can figure out when there's a real reason to get out of bed. And it must be a _very_ good reason. Or next time, there'll be a punishment." She looked at him sternly. "Got it?"

"What kind of punishment?"

His father leaned forward and offered, "I could always have you clean out the alligators' pen for a week."

"PHEW!" No one wanted that job. "Yes, Mom. Yes, Dad."

"Ok, why don't you go play fetch with the brainbots now." As he jumped down from his chair, she added quietly, "While you father and I recover…"

Before he walked away, he added thoughtfully, "At first I thought he was just telling her jokes. She sure was smiling a lot." He ran off to find the puppybot as his parents looked at each other in surprise and burst into fits of snickering.

"By the way, have you heard the one about –"

"I'm pretty sure I've heard all your jokes," she laughed.

"Oh, you never know." He took her hand and suggested, "I might have a few new ones."

"You can try them out on me later," she assured him with a wink.


	4. Scheming like Dad

_(Six years old...)_

"Michael!" she called. "Your father's waiting. Come on! You'll be late for school!"

Six-year-old Michael scooted past his mother sideways, holding his backpack up to his face so only his blue eyes showed. "Bye, mom! See you later!"

"Wait a minute," Roxanne said, grabbing his shoulder. "I need a kiss. And why are you hiding behind… MICHAEL!"

Pulling down the bookbag, she saw a black line drawn from the boy's pink tinged lips to his pointy little chin. It was slightly crooked despite his best attempts to make it straight. The blue eyes looked down at the floor and then back at her apprehensively.

"What is that?"

"It's a goatee! Like dad's."

Roxanne tried to hide a smile. "You're a little young to have facial hair yet, and you can't draw things on your face to wear to school." Disappointment shone from his big eyes. "We'd better wash that off so you can get going."

Taking him to the bathroom, she attempted to rub the black line away, but no matter how much soap she applied, it wouldn't fade. "Michael… what did you use to make this?" Slowly he pulled a permanent marker from his pocket and held it up. "Oh no…"

Megamind poked his head around the door and asked, "Hey, what's going on? You're going to be late for school." Suddenly he noticed the mark on his son's little face. "Hmmm…" he said, coming into the room. Grabbing the marker, he traced over the crooked line, straightening it. "There! Ok, let's go." With a huge grin, Michael marched ahead of his father to the car.

Roxanne watched them go, then put a hand to her face and shook her head with a smile. "Oh well... at least he wasn't wearing his cape too." A call from the teacher later reminded her that she hadn't checked his backpack.

* * *

"Michael," she began when he'd sat down at the table after arriving back home, the marker-goatee still fairly fresh on his chin and the little cape draped over his chair. "What were you thinking? You know you can't go to school dressed like that. Except when it's Halloween or Career Day."

The small boy avoided her eyes, playing with the edge of the kid-sized black cape, and thought rapidly. Should he tell her about his idea or try to hold her off from figuring it out a little longer? She'd probably try to convince him not to do it. They might even forbid him from doing it. He knew eventually both of his parents would find out what he was up to, but he hoped by then his plan would already have had the effect he desired.

"Dad's my hero, Mom. And all the kids think he's cool, so I wanted to show them how much I look like him." That sounded pretty good, and it wasn't a lie.

She regarded him thoughtfully. Something about that answer was too pat, although it also was basically truthful. She realized he could be playing her. _I shouldn't be so suspicious of him. He's only six years old! But he's so darn smart, and so much like Megamind. Why do I have a sneaking suspicion that he's up to something? _"No one will ever look more like him than you, and your friends like you just fine the way you are. You don't need to try to look even more like your father just to impress them." She smiled at him. Some day he probably was going to wish he didn't resemble Megamind so much and would try to find his own style. Who knew, he might even rebel and decide to let his hair grow out again. The teen years were going to be very interesting.

Michael was thinking quickly. The fastest way to end a 'discussion' was usually to agree with her. And he'd already accomplished what he wanted from today's part of the plan. "I guess you're right, Mom. I promise to ask before I take the cape to school again."

Now she was sure there was something going on. He almost never gave in so readily, preferring to engage in little battles of wits with his parents when they set limits for him, posing theoretical questions and pushing the boundaries of what was allowable. Not that he was disrespectful, but he liked to explore all the variables until he knew exactly where he stood. Knowing he would clam up tightly if she pressed him, Roxanne decided to employ one of her most successful techniques in dealing with reluctant interviewees. She waited. People hated sitting silently, so they usually began talking to fill the void, revealing more information than they originally intended.

As the silence lengthened, Michael began to squirm a little in his chair. He looked away. He looked back at his mother, who was simply watching him calmly. His eyes began to dart about frantically as he felt the pressure mounting, and finally he blurted out, "Can I go now?"

Roxanne sighed. Maybe there really wasn't anything more to tell. "Sure. And remember what you agreed to - no more cape at school. Plus, no using markers on your skin." He nodded and ran off as she pondered what he could be up to, if anything. Suddenly he reappeared from around the corner, "Hey, mom? Can I bring a friend home from school tomorrow?"

"Uh, sure. Who is it?"

_Play it cool._ "It's Kevin."

She frowned. "The boy who keeps teasing Sarah? You two don't get along." In fact, this was the boy they constantly heard tales about as Michael related his repeated efforts to save Sarah from being picked on. She was smaller than the the other children, a natural target for bullies, and too shy to stand up for herself apparently. She had become Michael's personal project.

"I know, but you told me I should make friends with him. So I thought I'd start by inviting him over. Maybe Dad would take us for a ride in the invisible car." It was true, she had suggested one way to win the boy over was to be as kind to him as possible, even if he didn't return that kindness. She could hardly refuse to let him follow her own advice.

"Ok, I guess that's fine." The feeling that he had some hidden agenda was stronger than ever as she recognized a very familiar crafty smile cross his little face and watched him run down the hall with a fist-pump for good measure.


	5. Kevin Comes to Play

"Hello, Kevin! Nice to meet you." She held out her hand.

The blonde, husky boy seemed tall for his age, especially standing next to her little blue son. He gazed around with barely disguised awe, hardly able to make a response to her greeting and took her hand slowly. "Um, hi." With wide eyes, he took everything in while Michael watched him complacently, his arms crossed over his little chest.

"Come on," Michael finally told him. "I'll show you my room. Then we can go feed the alligators."

She sat back down on the couch and continued working with a satisfied smile. Michael was really making an effort to be friendly toward this boy, and she felt quite proud of him. All those lectures she'd shared about kindness winning people over must have sunk in at some point. Megamind walked in from his workshop.

"You just missed them. Michael took Kevin to his room."

"Ah," he commented. He hadn't been nearly as sure as Roxanne that having Michael spend time with the troublesome lad was such a good idea. In his own experience, trying to make friends with someone bent on disliking you was futile. And upon hearing about the invitation, he also became suspicious that their son might be up to something. "I'll go say hello and see how they're doing."

"Why not let Michael just show him around by himself for now? Kevin was pretty much speechless at just being here, and if you walk in right away it might be a little overwhelming. Maybe Michael will bring him to meet you in a while and later you could give them a quick tour and take them for a ride on the hoverbike or something." She tapped away at the laptop and added, "Michael mentioned showing him the alligators. I wonder if he's trying to impress him."

"Or intimidate him."

She looked up. "Do you think?" They looked thoughtfully at each other. "You've been wondering too."

His crooked smile confirmed it. "Well, you know our son. Nothing is as simple as it seems."

"I hate to suspect him though. I don't want him to feel like we don't trust him." She frowned and suggested, "Let's give him the benefit of the doubt today. I think he's really trying to do the right thing."

Despite his misgivings, he agreed. Megamind understood very well how deeply a child could be affected by people's assumptions. Yes, Roxanne's suggestion that they should treat him as being trustworthy and have positive expectations of him was a good idea. As he walked back to the workshop, he wondered why he had a feeling they were both wrong.

Roxanne returned her attention to the computer on her lap and the background information she was gathering for her next story. Becoming engrossed again in her work, she wasn't sure how much time had passed before Megamind came to her again, asking, "Have you seen Minion? I don't know where he went."

"No, I haven't. I thought he was with you in the shop."

"He was earlier but not anymore, and I need him to help with this section I'm building." He walked out again, on the hunt for the absent fish. Roxanne shrugged and began to type. Then she realized she had not seen or heard from the boys for quite a while. Checking her watch told her an hour had passed, and she thought she would go find them and offer them a snack.

Looking into Michael's room, she wasn't very surprised they weren't there. Two boys could do a lot of exploring in the lair. Walking down one of its many corridors, she heard a peculiar laugh that was eerily familiar – a sound she had not heard in a long time, and it was followed by a faint demand. "…not… bothering her anymore, are..." A high-pitched voice made a frantic reply as she pushed open the door to the alligators' pen cautiously and took in the scene with mild disbelief. Michael stood on the catwalk over the pit, fully decked out in his little Megamind suit and his black cape, arms folded and a positively wicked smirk on his face. Unexpectedly, Minion stood just behind him with a bemused expression of his own, obviously enjoying the whole affair. In front of them, tied up tightly and hanging from the overhead hoist, was Kevin. Wide-eyed, he glanced from Michael down to the pit and back again as he slowly turned in a circle at the end of his rope. "I promise I'll leave her alone!" he whined.

Just as Roxanne opened her mouth, she heard someone behind her say, "No, no, no. You don't want to tie him _that_ way. What you really need is -"

"_Megamind_!"

"What? He's doing it all wrong."

Wide-eyed she hissed, "You are _not_ giving him advice about this right now!" Looking back at Michael, she ordered him, "Bring him down. Now."

Michael was so in the moment that he spun to face his parents and dared to scowl at them defiantly, his little brows drawn low over his eyes, the cape swishing from the sudden movement. For a moment she was taken aback by his intense expression and his complete resemblance of his father. Then she had to struggle with a completely inappropriate urge to bust out laughing. This is not funny, she reminded herself and fought to stop the smile that threatened to spread across her face. She narrowed her eyes at him in her best "mother is not messing around" look.

"Minion, what -? How did you get involved in this?" Megamind demanded incredulously, realizing from his proximity to the main instigator that his sidekick was assisting the illicit operation. And how come I got left out, he sulked silently to himself.

The fish looked slightly embarrassed. He nervously glanced from Michael to his father, then shrugged and motioned to the blue boy. "Well, you said I'm his minion now. Just following orders! Heh heh!"

Roxanne turned her piercing gaze from her son to his loyal henchman. "We'll deal with you later." Minion backed up a step. Wow, she looked mad!

Kevin had been watching all the exchanges with disbelief. These people were crazy. He wanted down! He began to kick his legs and immediately felt the rope slip. Megamind noticed the barely perceptible drop and sprang forward just as Michael's inexperienced knot tying failed, and Kevin began to fall toward the waiting animals below. One gator snapped its jaws, and then they all began leaping, just as they'd been trained to do. With a lunge over the railing, Megamind grabbed the rope, stopping the boy's descent. Kevin looked down at the jumping reptiles who appeared to be just inches from his feet and then back up at Megamind, his eyes wide as saucers in his pale face.

"Don't worry," the hero assured him. He couldn't resist adding with a menacing grin, "They only eat _chicken_."

Kevin whimpered.

* * *

"So next time use a figure-of-nine hitch. I used to use the highwayman's hitch all the time, but as you saw it sometimes slips, so I don't recommend that one. Unless your Uncle Wayne happens to be nearby," he added.

Roxanne sat listening and shook her head. "I don't know why you're explaining all this to him. You will not be doing such a thing again, will you, Michael."

"No," the now reformed boy agreed reluctantly. "I won't."

"Show me that highwayman's hitch again! That was cool!" Kevin begged. Once he'd been let down from the hoist, untied, and assured that the alligators never ate people anyway, he appeared to have been rather impressed by Michael's plot. And now having a chance to listen to the city's famous blue hero give some lessons on rope tying, his face was aglow with delight.

As he demonstrated the knot again for the two boys, Megamind asked calmly, "So this was really about the two of you having a disagreement? Or is it something else?"

The former adversaries looked at each other somberly. Like all boys, Michael knew the unspoken rule of never tattle-taling, so he kept quiet, hoping Kevin would speak up himself. Kevin shifted in his chair a little. "Um, well, I guess."

Megamind slipped the knot quickly and began another without looking up. "You guess? That's not really an answer."

Staying silent, Roxanne watched with keen interest. She'd seen him have discussions with their son before using this same tactic. It didn't have to be rope and knots, but he would use some kind of prop, an object or activity, to keep the boy's interest while he quietly asked questions and lead him toward the conclusion he wanted him to reach. He'd just finished a complicated Portuguese Sinnet and was untying it before Kevin's watchful gaze. "Tell me about Sarah."

"Well, she's a kid in our class…"

Megamind reached over and pulled Michael's arm forward on the table, then began to tie a Turk's Head knot on his wrist. Kevin's eyes were glued on the process. "She's smaller than you, isn't she?"

"Yeah…"

"And it's kind of fun to pick on her." He finished the knot and smiled at Michael who smiled back at his father.

"Well, nobody likes her much."

Michael quickly protested, "I like her! She's quiet, but she's really nice. And I don't want you and –" Megamind silenced him with a look. Then he released the knot from his wrist.

"You're a strong lad, Kevin. You know what your strength is for, don't you?" He reached out and pulled Kevin's arm forward onto the table, startling the blonde boy a little.

"What?" He slowly relaxed again as Megamind began tying the same Turk's Head knot on his wrist.

"Strength is for defending yourself and others. You must always use it for helping," he pulled the knot firmly but not too tightly on the boy's arm. "Not hurting."

Kevin looked from the knot up to the green eyes across the table from him. "I'm just bigger than the other kids cause I got held back last year."

"So you've been there longer, and that could be an advantage. You should know more than the rest of them, which is all the more reason for you to help the others. They'll look up to you if you do."

A light dawned in Kevin's eyes. He hadn't thought of himself that way. This year he missed his old friends, and he was always conscious of how much smaller the other kids were in his new class. It bothered him, making him feel out of place. "You think I can?"

Megamind untied the knot from his arm and held Kevin's gaze a little longer. "Yes."

Minion came into the room and offered, "Who wants a ride in the invisible car?"

"Yeah!" Kevin and Michael jumped up from their chairs and happily ran to the garage.

"Minion," Megamind called as his sidekick turned to leave.

He stopped in his tracks, and the hairy shoulders cringed. "Yes?"

"I'm sure you were only following orders, but you'll recall that you're supposed to help guide him away from bad ideas, yes?"

"Well," Minion began as he turned around to face the couple still seated at the table. "I wasn't so sure this was a bad idea. I think it worked!"

Roxanne and Megamind looked at each other. She sighed, and he chuckled. "Maybe it did this time, but no more of that!" Minion grinned and turned to leave again, but Megamind called after him, "And next time, let me in on it!" Minion gave him a thumbs up as he walked away.

Roxanne shook her head at them, her men. She stood up and pulled her husband to his feet, putting her arms around him. "Did you know," she began slowly, "what a really amazing father you are?"

"Really?" He looked nearly as surprised as he was delighted to hear it.

"I just loved watching you completely mould that boy's thinking, without him even knowing you were doing it. And with Michael looking on, I'm sure he picked it up too. How did you learn to do that?"

He shrugged, "I don't know. But I'm glad you approve."

She smiled and kissed him appreciatively. "You never cease to amaze me."

"The feeling is mutual, my dear Roxanne." He kissed her in return and added, "And now, with them all out of the place, I think I remembered a few secrets I need to tell you."

She giggled, "Oh really?"

"Mmhmm! Come with me. These are the kind you're supposed to tell in private when nobody else is around…"


	6. Kids Rock

_(Eight months old…)_

Roxanne rubbed her eyes and groaned. _I need a break from this story. It's so depressing_. From somewhere down the hall, she could hear someone singing.

"Was a farmer had a dog! Bingo was his name! B-I-N-G-Oooo! Was a farmer had a dog! Bingo was his name! B-I-N-G-Oooo!"

Walking to the lab, she thought, Ok, I know the song but what is that tune? Peeking inside she saw little blue-eyed Michael in his high chair, playing with molecular modeling toys while his father performed some complicated experiment. That wasn't all he was performing though.

"Uh, honey? What are you singing?"

He noticed her standing in the doorway. "Oh, hi! It's Bingo."

"Bingo!" Michael repeated.

"Okay… I recognized the words, but it's the tune I'm not familiar with."

He carefully measured a clear liquid into a beaker. "I know. That was Metallica's 'Enter Sandman'."

Roxanne looked perplexed. "You took 'Bingo' and put it to a Metallica song?"

He looked up again. "Yeah. Michael loves it. Don't you?" He wiggled his fingers at the baby in the highchair who gurgled at him. "Hmm, nice start of a water molecule there, Blueberry. Needs one more hydrogen."

Roxanne smiled and felt the start of a bad case of giggles welling up inside her. She hid a grin behind her hand. "How many other kids' songs have you customized?" He customized everything else, so she supposed she really shouldn't be surprised by this.

"Quite a few." He smiled slyly.

"What about 'Itsy Bitsy Spider'?" It was one of his least favorite children's tunes. Too many bad associations with that one.

"Oh yeah, we sing that to 'Clocks' by Coldplay. That's one of his favorites."

A quick titter escaped her before she could stop it. "Does he have any other favorites?"

He looked up at her seriously. "He seems to really like Guns N Roses 'Welcome to the Jungle', so we changed that to 'Welcome to McDonalds'. I had to make up the words to that myself. You know how he loves those French fries." He could see she was building up to have one of her giggling fits.

Roxanne bit her lip. "Why haven't I heard you sing these before?"

"Because…" he gave her a mildly withering glance. "I know you'd expire in convulsive laughter before I could even get to the end of one of them. And you know how I despise being laughed at," he added disdainfully.

"Oh, you do not. You're always playing up." She tried to compose her face into a more serious expression. "Ok, if I promise not to laugh, will you sing one for me?"

He huffed scornfully. "There's no way you'll be able to keep that promise."

"Oh, come on! Give me a chance. It's not fair the baby gets all the serenading! Is it, Blueberry?" Michael stuck his hand in his mouth and looked with wide wondering eyes from his mother to his father.

Shaking his head, Megamind added several crystals to the beaker of liquid and agitated it. "What do you think, Michael? Should we let mommy hear one of your tunes?"

The baby pushed another atom block onto his creation and held it up happily. "Humpty Dumpty!"

"Oh, good choice!" He began singing while continuing his experiment. "Humpty Dumpty was a good man! Just sittin' on top of a wall! Humpty Dumpty was an egg-man! Didn't know he was gonna have a big fall! Poor old – Humpty Dumpty! Would you please help this man? Poor old…"

Pressing her lips together, she tried very hard not to laugh, but as soon as the first snort escaped her, she fell apart completely. Howling and leaning against the door frame to hold herself up, she finally asked incredulously, "Is that 'This is How You Remind Me' by Nickelback?"

He shot her a scathing look, "Yes. Yes, it is."

Blind with laughter, she stumbled into the room and draped herself over his shoulders appreciatively. "Oh god… you are a genius! That's the funniest thing I've ever heard!" He rolled his eyes and waited for her to get control of herself again. "Oh sweetheart, thanks. I needed that!" She kissed his cheek and walked out again wiping her eyes, still giggling madly.

Megamind watched her leave and turned to Michael. "I knew she wouldn't last," he whispered and winked at the little blue boy. "We like to make her laugh, don't we?"

Michael clapped his hands and chortled. "Silly daddy!"

* * *

_**Ok, ok, you deserve the truth. I totally stole these songs from a brilliant comedian named Tim Hawkins who really did cross traditional children's tunes with hard rock for a hilarious spoof. Look up "Kids Rock" on YouTube and you'll see for yourself. I hope this shameless plug for his video helps make up for my use of his idea. And I ask you, is that not exactly how Megamind would sing those "lame kids' songs" for his son? 'Course he would. =)**_


	7. Ashes to Ashes, Dust to What?

_(Five years old…)_

As his family sat closely together on the hard wooden pew of the huge, echoing church, Michael looked all around him with wondering eyes, taking in every detail of the building, the people, and the service. Like most five year olds, he tended to fidget and get bored when forced to sit still for too long, but unlike a typical five year old he also was capable of absorbing everything at once with almost perfect recollection later even when he seemed not to be paying attention at all. In his little suit and tie, he tried hard to remember to keep quiet and not kick his legs as he noticed all kinds of things he wanted to know more about, recalling the warning he'd received earlier that a funeral was no occasion to blurt out his usual comments on anything and everything in sight. His mother and father sat on either side of him, listening somberly to the man in black standing near the casket giving a rather long sermon on life and death.

The man who had died had been a friend of his father's, someone he knew from back when he had lived in prison. Michael knew all about his father's past – of being a villain before uncle Wayne retired and then being reformed by his mother. He loved hearing those stories and looking at the photographs of his parents from back then, but they had never seemed quite real. He couldn't imagine his mother and father being so young and not being his parents. He figured their life must have been pretty boring before he came along.

"Life ends here, but the soul continues on. Lord, help us to remember that we are but dust, and unto dust we shall return. Teach us to number our days that we may apply our hearts to wisdom."

Michael's mouth snapped open, a sudden burning question making him temporarily forget the strict instructions he'd been given. His father's hand surreptitiously shot out and covered his mouth, silencing the small squeak that escaped him. His mother looked at them askance from the corner of her eye, while his father looked heavenward, then closed his eyes and shook his head slightly. Michael knew what that meant. _Remember what we told you? Ask later_. Wide-eyed, he looked over at his father and shrugged. _I forgot_. The blue hand was removed.

Finally the service ended. After shaking hands with and saying good-bye to what seemed like a never-ending stream of billions of people while he waited impatiently, his parents finally led him to the car. They got in the front, and he got into his usual seat in back and clicked his seatbelt.

"All right, Michael. What's your question?" Megamind turned around to look at his ever-curious son. He expected there would be at least a few questions to answer following the first funeral he'd ever attended. Roxanne blew her nose quietly in a tissue and looked back with a fond smile as well. Despite his age, Michael could be relied upon to make some sort of philosophical observations or ask deep, probing questions about such a serious occasion.

"Well… I was just wondering. What's butt dust?"

Their smiles dropped away, and they looked at him blankly. "What kind of dust?"

"Butt dust," he reiterated. "I heard that man in black say, 'help us remember we are butt dust.' So what's that mean?"

He'd never heard his parents laugh so hard.


	8. Pod People

(Six years old…)

"Dad… where did I come from?"

It was nearly another spit-take moment, such as Michael was very apt to produce with his point blank observations and questions. Unfortunately, this time Megamind was holding a laser-cutter and zipped right through the sheet metal he'd meant to cut carefully. He lifted his goggles and peered at the line he'd produced in mere seconds with the slip of a hand that should have taken several minutes – thankfully it was straight and true after all – and then nervously glanced at his son. "Um…just a minute, Michael." Turning toward the door, he shouted, "ROXANNE!"

In no time, she appeared in the doorway, slightly breathless and alarmed. "What? What is it?"

"Ask your mother what you just asked me."

Michael looked at his dad. He knew by the reaction he'd just witnessed that he had once again hit on a subject his father didn't care to talk about. He shrugged. "Mom, where did I come from?"

"Oh!" Roxanne put a hand to her chest and looked at Megamind. "_That's_ why you called me. I thought you'd cut off your hand or something." With a sigh of relief, she walked into the room and perched on a stool as Megamind turned off his equipment to give this momentous occasion his undivided attention. If she was going to field the question, he would at least stand by for support. Roxanne motioned Michael to come stand beside her. "First of all, what prompted this question?"

"Uncle Wayne says dad came from a pod."

"_What_?"

"Michael, don't you remember the very first thing I ever told you about uncle Wayne?" Megamind reminded him.

"Yeah, never believe a word he says. Always ask you first." He recited it like a lesson learned in school. "But, I was talking to uncle Wayne yesterday about his dad, Mr. Scott, and he said that _actually_ he's adopted. And… wait. Am I adopted?"

Megamind gave his son a look, "Of course you're not adopted. Who else could have given you blue skin?"

"Oh…" Michael paused in thought. "So uncle Wayne said adopted means Mr. Scott isn't really his bio-logi-cal father. And I asked him, where did you come from? And he said he came from a planet far away, but I already knew that. And he said Dad came from a planet far away too," he turned to look at his blue skinned father, " and he said you both came from pods. And what does bio-logi-cal mean?"

"Good enough! Yes, we came from pods."

Roxanne laughed. "NO! They did not come from pods…"

"As far as he's concerned we did! He's six!"

"Megs… I'm not having our son thinking you came from a pod." Typical of the two toughest men she knew to cave under pressure when it came to answering the stickier questions of one small blue boy. "Michael…" _Hoo boy, ok, this is a little harder than I thought._ "Your dad and Wayne both came from their parents, who, yes, lived on planets that were far away."

"Yeah, I know. But where did I come from?"

She looked at Megamind who stared back like a deer caught in headlights. "You came from _your_ parents – from your father and I. So really you're half Dad and half me." She smiled at the reminder. The wonder of knowing this little boy had come from both of them and would carry on Megamind's genes never grew old for her.

Michael looked perplexed and frustrated. "But Mom! Where did I come from? How did I get here?"

Roxanne felt a slow blush rise in her cheeks. He wasn't old enough to be wondering about the mechanics of it all yet, was he? Then again, that rather enormous brain did require regular feedings of more information than most children his age could handle. She took a deep breath. "Well! Um, first of all…babies come from two people who love each other…"

"Wait a minute," Megamind interrupted. He'd been listening uneasily, happy to let Roxanne handle this conversation, but suddenly he had a light bulb moment. "Michael, where did uncle Wayne come from?"

"You said he came from a planet in the Gloupunkt quadrant."

"Right. And where did I come from?"

"The next quadrant over."

"Right. And now you want to know where you came from?"

"Yeah!"

"Earth."

The frustration evaporated from his little blue face. "Oh, ok. Did I come out of a pod too?"

Megamind was about to answer, but seeing the slyly amused look on his face, Roxanne felt it was time for her to step in. "No, you were born at the hospital like almost every other Earth baby."

"Oh... darn." He started walking away, but stopped. "What does 'bio-logi-cal father' mean?"

Roxanne thought quickly. "It means the parent who put you in the pod."

"Ohhhh, I get it. Thanks, Mom!" Curiosity satisfied, he happily ran off to play.

Megamind called after him, "Hey, I didn't get a thanks."

"I'll be the one to thank you," she assured him. "You saved my tail just then. I was about to throw him in at the deep end! I think we'll have to have a talk with him later about what adoption is. I don't think he gets it."

He couldn't resist chuckling. "I did like your analogy though."

"It wasn't an analogy!" she protested, but her blushing betrayed her clear understanding of what he was talking about. "Your biological father did put you in the pod and so did Wayne's, I'd assume."

He was still snickering to himself and gave her a knowing look. "Well, in that case you might as well have told him _I_ was the one that put him in _his_ pod." He wiggled his eyebrows at her.

"You'd better not be calling me a pod…"

With a look of offended dignity, he asked, "Would I do that?"

She had to laugh and walked over to put an arm around his shoulders. "Yes! You would!" Kissing his head, she could hear him chuckling.

"Doesn't that old saying always mention 'two peas in a pod'? So far we only have one pea," he teased, looking up at her and squeezing her closer.

"We can fix that," she assured him. " We _should_ fix that." Looking down at him and caressing the funny, blue face she loved so much, she added, "The world needs more pod people like you." And when she looked at him again after a very warm kiss, she could tell he was seriously considering the offer.


	9. Tricks and Treats

I've had a chapter for this story sitting in reserve for a while. Don't remember anymore why I was waiting to put it up. Since someone was so kind as to leave a nice review asking for more, I'll go ahead and post it while I'm on hiatus for a bit longer. Yes, more blue babies.  
~Hunger

* * *

_Six years old…_

Halloween. Although it had always been one of the dastardly duo's favorite times of year for pulling off their baddest pranks on Metrocity, they found the delightfully evil-leaning holiday even more fun now. Now that they had an entire family to prepare for it and could go out trick or treating.

"So what are you dressing Michael as this time?" Roxanne had asked as she was led to a chair stationed before a doorway. Knowing Megamind and Minion had a flair for disguises, she left all the costuming to them.

"That's why I want you to sit here and look at some things." He handed her a steaming mug. "Here's your latte. Now sit back and let us entertain you with some fabulous ideas!"

"Ok. Bring it on." _He's in a good mood_. Megamind enjoyed Halloween more and more every year as their son grew old enough to really participate in it. And it always brought a smile to her face to see his enthusiasm grow. But that was several costumes ago. Now her coffee was long gone, and she was beginning to feel a little impatient and oddly tired. So far they had agreed on nothing.

One of the first costumes to make an appearance had been Michael's perpetual favorite. He burst through the doorway trying to startle her as she was sipping the hot beverage, noting it didn't quite taste the same as usual, but she never missed a beat or spilled a drop, knowing her son well. "MWAH-HAHAAaaa!" The thin black eyebrows danced up and down before settling into a glare as he gave her his best menacing grin, nodding slightly with one finger raised high in the air.

With a crooked smirk, she took in her little boy's outfit – the familiar leather cape with the tall collar, knee-high boots on his feet and a de-gun replica (which actually could dehydrate things) strapped to his leg. A tiny goatee had been drawn on his pointed blue chin. _Hopefully with one of my makeup pencils_, she thought, remembering when he'd used permanent marker instead. "Michael… don't you think you've dressed as your father one too many times already? That's what we used to let you go as when you were three and threw a tantrum if we tried to make you be anything else."

His arm and shoulders dropped, and he pouted at her from under lowered brows. A voice from outside the room called, "I told you she wouldn't go for it!"

"Yeah, yeah…" he mumbled as he shuffled out of the room again, quickly dehydrating an unfortunate brainbot who happened to be burbling past, minding its own business.

Megamind popped around the doorway and assured her, "Don't worry! Just figured I'd let him get that out of his system right off the bat." He disappeared again as her stomach growled a little. _He must have been distracted by all the planning. This coffee tastes funny._ Sooner than she expected a very short but very round shape heaved through the doorway and wobbled unsteadily closer for her consideration.

"What's this?" she asked in some amusement, taking in the vision of her son enclosed in a wide pastel colored cup shape, the only parts of him visible being his legs sticking out the bottom and his round blue head just peeping out the top, crowning a foam hill of pale brown imitation baked goods. He glanced up at his father beside him dressed as a baker in a white apron and tall chef's hat, wielding an over-sized, scary-looking knife. The costume nearly covering his mouth prevented him from answering his mother's question.

"He's a muffin!" Megamind answered with enthusiasm, gesturing at his creation like a game show model. "See the cute little blueberry on top!"

"I see it, Mr. Blueberry Head. But he'll never live it down at school." She gave him the look. "So… no."

Brows lowered, he pouted and swiftly turned the boy around, steering him unsteadily back out. "Well, it does suit him."

With an effort, Michael lifted his head enough to pipe up in a high voice, "I didn't think it was a good idea either!"

"All right… all right…" his father grumbled.

The next set of outfits was very simple and self-explanatory. The pair came in identically dressed, wrapped in wide silver fabric marked with a single spiraling line that went around and around from their shoulders to their waists, arms and legs covered in silver fabric as well. Above this was nothing but their own heads, au natural.

"Blue light special in aisle three!" Roxanne called out when she saw them.

Looking at each other, they agreed in unison, "Nah…" and walked back out.

They must be running out of ideas, she thought as she sat checking the messages on her phone, beginning to feel rather antsy as she waited for them. Soon enough Michael appeared alone, dazzling in a costume that sparkled as it caught the light, so many points and spears sticking out from it that he seemed to have been swallowed by a giant sea urchin. "What is _that_?" she asked, blinking at the glittering outfit. "You look like an oversized Christmas tree ornament!"

"Dad said I'm the twinkle in his eye." Michael recited with a slightly perplexed frown. "But I don't really know what that means."

Roxanne's fingers covered her mouth as her spouse appeared, leaning casually against the doorway in a robe and slippers, holding a bottle of champagne in one hand and two crystal flutes in the other, a smug smile on his face. "I don't think so," she told him with a poorly suppressed smile. "Can you imagine how many times he's going to have to explain to people what he is? And their reaction?"

Megamind's amused chuckle turned into a genuine laugh. "All right. I wasn't serious about this one anyway. Just had to see the look on your face." His eyebrows danced. "But… it does give me some very interesting costume ideas for _you_!"

"NO!" Roxanne laughed, knowing he wouldn't really send them out in anything too revealing just to collect candy. Although something like that might possibly show up later… in private. She could almost see the ideas parading through his head as he stood staring at her with a knowing grin.

Michael was tired of the changing and waiting, and still not knowing what they were talking about he whined, "I'm tired. I'm going to go take this off! Minion…" he called to the fish who had been helping with the costumes behind the scenes. "Will you read me a story?"

"Oh…" Thoughtfully Megamind watched him go. He turned to Roxanne, eyes lit up. If his hands weren't full, he'd have stabbed a finger in the air. "That's it!"

"What?"

"We're not going trick or treating this year."

"Megamind, why? Michael will be so disappointed."

"No, he won't. We're going to do something even better. We're opening up to the public right here."

"Uh… what?"

* * *

It was almost 7pm, almost time for the opening. The entire Lair looked like a fairytale nightmare, a dim maze of trees shrouded in low lying fog from an army of dry ice machines manned by a crew of brainbots. Howls and hoots and growling noises echoed throughout the cavernous space from a hidden sound system. Groups of guests waiting outside would be startled by the sudden appearance of Roxanne as a beloved storybook character (through the generated brick wall that was the hidden entrance of the Lair), then would enter the maze and make their way through the forest labyrinth under her guidance, past trolls and goblins and all sorts of night creatures jumping out at them as strobe lights flashed, into various lurid storybook sets before the final standoff with a familiar wolf at the end. Publicity had nearly gotten out of hand simply through the news and by word of mouth, and it seemed that half of Metro City was waiting outside for the first annual 'Lair Scare'.

Standing in front of the full-length mirror, Roxanne tugged up the front of the dress a little. _Seems he misjudged the bust on this_, she thought, tipping her head to the side. _He knows my measurements… I wonder why…_ The rest of the red outfit was as well tailored as usual. Minion had proven to be a dab hand at fitting them all out. It wasn't like him to get the sizing wrong. Roxanne stood pondering the oddly tight peasant blouse spilling over the top of the laced up bodice and the rest of her costume – long red cape and hood, full skirt below, and basket in hand – when a voice floated across the room to her, quietly singing a familiar tune.

"Hey there, little Red Riding Hood… you sure are lookin' good…"

Rolling her eyes slightly, she couldn't help but smirk at the apt lyrics as a wolfish face appeared at her shoulder in the mirror and a set of furry, clawed gloves stole around her waist. "My, my… Minion's outdone himself…" His eyes lingered over the same general area she had been adjusting.

"Seems he skimped a little here," she complained with another tug. "Either that or... I'm getting bigger..." She stopped, and they regarded each other silently in the mirror for several moments as their thoughts simultaneously followed a line of thinking to the same conclusion.

"Maybe. Maybe you are." He kissed her cheek as he checked a feeling of excitement bubbling up inside him. No need to jump to conclusions yet. She smiled at him as he asked, "How have you been feeling? You haven't said anything. And I haven't been ill."

"You've been busy. That could be helping to distract you from it. And I have been tired," she admitted.

"Well, tired or not, you look amazing," he assured her, nuzzling behind her ear and rocking her side to side a little as he watched their reflection in the mirror. She hoped the black latex nose was glued on his face tightly if he was going to start some snuggling before they had to take their places.

"You don't look too bad yourself." Besides the prosthetic muzzle, Megamind's blue skin faded to grey and black fur on his head that cascaded down his shoulders and over a long velvet coat with gold trim. She reached up and back to tweak one of the fuzzy pointed ears perched on his head. As he smiled at their faces close together, she could see they had even added some realistic fangs to his smile. "My goodness. What big teeth you have."

"Hmmm… all the better to eat you with," he answered in a growling tone, snapping them together near her ear before trying his fangs on her exposed neck and wrapping his arms around her tighter.

Roxanne was giggling at the tickling from his uncharacteristic furriness and thoroughly enjoying watching her own ravaging when her canine attacker suddenly let out a bellow. "OUCH!"

Hollering and brandishing the plastic axe that had struck a blow at the wolf's backside before scrambling away as fast as he could go, it was obvious Michael was quite pleased to be cast as the hero of the story - plaid shirt, hobnailed boots, and scruffy beard applied with spirit gum. He would even slay the wolf in a gory final scene for the guests' benefit at the end of the maze. Roxanne wondered where they had found a hunter's cap that would fit his little oversized cranium. Minion probably made it too. "Ha HA! You'll never eat Red Riding Hood!" he taunted back over his shoulder as he ran.

"Too late… little does he know." He gave her a sly smile and a waggle of eyebrows before pursuing the small attacker, howling, clawing the air. Michael's delighted laughter could be heard echoing through the hall.

Minion was nearly plowed over by the hairy form trotting out as Roxanne stood looking after them, shaking her head. "Looks like they're in character already," he observed.

"Yeah, they're having a great time." She looked him over at him in his apron and wig and added, "Well, come on, Grandmother. I guess it's time to take our places. There's quite a crowd outside already."

"Well! Who wouldn't want a chance to go through the ex-evil Lair? Not that they'll get a very good look through all the set dressing. But that's probably a good thing."

She looked from the curly wig and nightcap perched on top of his dome to the ruffle-covered nightgown he wore over his mecha suit and just had to comment, "Minion, I hate to say it, but I don't think anyone's going to be fooled by your costume."

Thinking back to a time when he and his boss had donned disguises that included something very similar to what he wore now, the piscean sidekick grinned to himself and demurred, "Oh… you never know…"

* * *

_On the ride back from the doctor's office a week later..._

"Honey. Labor this time..." Still stunned, he blew out a deep breath.

"That's what c-sections are for, Megs," she assured him calmly. "If necessary." She wasn't going to think that far ahead yet. She wanted to just enjoy the news they'd received and get used to the idea.

"I can't believe it..." he murmured, then smirked with a throaty chuckle. "Minion's going to have kittens!"

"Look," she teased, "when we were trying to get pregnant, I told you to do your best, but this goes beyond the call of duty."

"Well! I've always been an overachiever." He smiled at her and took her hand in one of his. "With me, you have to be careful what you ask for!"


End file.
